Last night’s episode of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” was appropriately named the “Night of A Thousand Surprises.” The madness all went down at the grand opening celebrations for Sur, Lisa Vanderpump’s latest restaurant. As Bev Hills watchers know, no dinner party, games night or tea party is safe from the drama for these divas. The party started out with everyone getting fab for the party but besides our favorite “Housewives” the party’s guest list was a nightmare. Lisa’s personal hater Bernie came sashaying in first. He tried to burn Lisa with his magnetic personality but the dig was on him as Mrs. Vanderpump didn’t even recognize him. Ouch. RuPaul was also in the house dressed as his male persona just to glitter up the place. Then Brandi Glanville, who is an FOH aka Friend of the Housewives, spied Scheana, one of Eddie Cibrian’s mistresses, serving drinks and vittles. Lisa did the best girlfriend thing and asked the mistress to leave. I don’t know who was in charge of the guest list but Adrienne Maloof also spotted an ex-girlfriend of her plastic surgeon hubby, Paul Nassif. Then the most uninvited guest of all arrived, Lisa’s nemesis Cedric Martinez. You remember Lisa and Ken’s grifter Cedric, don’t you? He was so last season. Apparently his latest hustle seems to be posing as a Life Coach. Kim Richards arrived with her own personal enabler in pre-rehab form. In between waving around a lipstick vibrator, she confessed first to Lisa, and then to her sister, Kyle Richards, that her BF Ken was exhibiting controlling and abusive behavior. Kyle’s exasperated sisterly advice included a flippant, “why don’t you just leave?” It’s a refrain we’ve heard on this show before. At the tea party gone wrong Camille Grammer, who may finally change her name back to Donatacci, was the one to bring Taylor Armstrong’s abuse to the forefront. “We don’t say that he hits you but now we have,” was the gist of Camille’s rant. Both Camille and Kyle taunted a distraught and hysterical Taylor with the fact that they had never seen any bruises on her body. Kyle even insisted on talking about the abuse in front of the alleged abuser, the late Russell Armstrong, after she tossed the couple out of her White Party. Understandably, the ladies were confused by their friend’s behavior. If Taylor said she was being hit by her man why not just leave? And then why did Taylor and Russell seem so happy when they were together? Taylor brought both a fresh black eye and her therapist, Dr. Sophy, to the opening of Sur to help her friends sort it all out. Intimate partner abuse can be confusing. The goddesses of Beverly Hills have unwittingly presented a teachable moment when it comes to relationship abuse. Basically, they have demonstrated for us exactly what not to do if your friend is in an abusive relationship. Surprisingly, there were no domestic violence PSAs during the reality TV episode which included two key cast members confessing to being abused. So your friend comes to you and says that someone is mentally or physically abusing her or him; what do you do? DO believe. Assess the situation. Find out what is really going on. Abuse victims often lie to protect the abuser and look happy when this person that they think they “love” is around them. When we question those who are being abused or belittle the situation, they stop coming to us and go underground. This is extremely dangerous. Abusers can be the most fun, lovely life of the party people. Just because it seems improbable does not mean it is not happening. DON’T confront immediately. You don’t want to confront the abuser if your friend is still in harm’s way as Kyle did. You may be just making the abuser angry and setting the victim up to be abused again. DO find resources online. Help your friend do the research about what should come next. Talk to a professional. Call the national domestic violence hotline or look up the site form a safe computer. Offer your loved one a place to stay if you can do so safely. Don’t put yourself at risk, mentally or physically. It can be draining to be the helper but hopefully your friend would do the same for you. DON’T judge. You can’t be your friend’s superman or superwoman. You can’t rescue anyone but yourself. As a friend all you can offer is non-judgemental support. Acknowledge the awkwardness, difficulty, pain and discomfort and be there for your friend. Taylor Armstrong’s new memoir, Hiding From Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within, which frankly discusses spousal abuse is available wherever you buy books. The domestic violence hotline is 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.